Mom called tonight. The hospital had called her - Dad had fallen out of bed. This makes the third time he's fallen out of bed. I tell her I'm on my way. It's 7:40pm. As I get on my way lots of things pass through my mind. Mom calls again on my cell phone. Don't bother coming, She's at the hospital and Dad's blood pressure is low, she's going to spend the night. I tell her she can't stay, I'm coming anyway.
I arrive at 8:15pm, record time for me, I was seriously speeding. I ask for the charge nurse. What's the plan. How are we going to watch Dad. Mom can't stay all night, she was here all day. The charge nurse ways she's pulling a nurse off of her regular duties and will be assigned to watch Dad. I'm a little hard on her when I arrive, but calm down. During the conversation, brother arrives. He says to Mom that we need to get in an accupuncturist. The aunt from Florida requested the accupuncturist and has found one. Mom says we need to get the approval of the doctor. Brother says we don't. The nurse says it wouldn't be permitted by the hospital. Brother says to the nurse "who are you, you aren't the doctor". Brother continues and says that Western medicine has given up on Dad, that we need to try accupuncture to help him. Now, I'm not opposed to accupuncture. I've been the recipient of many accupuncture session. It's done wonders for my back and knee. Is it appropriate in this case? Not sure. Brother continues to say his words. Mom asks him to take the conversation out of the room. She says Dad can hear and this is not the place for this discussion. Mom asks the nurse if she wants to get security to remove him from the room. Brother says Mom never listens to him, doesn't respect his opinions, doesn't want to hear what he has to say. I say "if you didn't keep telling her to f*!& off maybe she'd listen to him". More conversation, more load voices, more Mom asking to move the conversation. Brother finally leaves. It's exhausting. I thought my brother and were making some progress. He was emailing me and resonding to my email. I expect the emails to halt. What causes him to behave this way? Why is there so much anger? Where did it come from? Telling Mom that if she doesn't act and get the accupuncturist in it will be on her conscious. She will have to live with that decision. Leave brother. Leave and leave the room in peace.
When brother leaves the room is quiet. The energy is calm. Dad has his eyes part open. The nurse pulls Mom aside and asks me to join them. She can see the conflict with the family. She can see the anger in brother. Is he jealous of me? Mom says "yes". I don't know why. I think he's angry at the world for having to live his life short. Brother is 5'4". He's had to deal with that all his life. Mom is 4'11". This is where brother gets his height. I'm sure he's angry at her for his lack of height. He's taking it out on her whenever he can. He's not bringing his kids to see Mom as a way of punishing her. He's forgotten that Mom spent many days looking after them. Free babysitter. Never a thank you for the care. If Dad did hear all this, if Dad could see all of this. He would be offended at how Mom was being treated. He would tell brother to stop it or leave. He wouldn't put up for it.
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