Frantic Mom...

Mom called this morning. Dad apparently fell in the bathroom lastnight. She tries to get him up to go to the washroom. He got in, but didn't quite get out. She managed to pull him out to the hall. She decided to call Brother to get him back in bed. I've told her before to call 911. She opted to get Brother. He of course told her all the things she was doing wrong. He tells her what she should be doing, but doesn't offer to help. Dad spent most of the night urinating and defecating in the bed. He puts his hands in his diaper and wipes the fecal matter on his clothes and the bed sheets. Mom spent most of the night changing the bedding.

I asked why she didn't call 911. We've had this conversation before. She just didn't. End of story. I'm too far away. Is this my fault? She won't consider short term respite care. When we had the meeting with CCAC, the social worker said she should use the service. Dad gets 90 days a calendar year at a reduced rate ($30/day). She doesn't consider it. Now I have to listen to her tell me how tired and frail she is. But she won't ask for help. She tells me of how Brother is no help and how he is condescending and rude to her.

I've heard all this before. I ask her to consider the options. She won't listen. She is adding to her own downfall. I can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.